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Fashion Advice For The Zodiac Signs

 

 

Aries: Cut holes in the lining of your jacket to make inside pockets for your phone, FBI Badge, and loose gummy bears. 
Taurus: Wear a vest to let people know your torso is cold, but your arms are strong and apathetic to the weather. 

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Gemini: Jumpsuits. Pros: Fashion. Cons: Bathroom. Compromise: Carry hamburglar mask in your pocket at all times, be constantly ready to fight crime. Also, wear a diaper. 
Cancer: strategically placed oak leaves are the new black.
Leo: Crop top on top, high-waisted pants on the bottom. That uncovered millimeter is where fashion happens. 
Virgo: Oversized denim jacket. As oversized as you can get. Let it consume you. Make a personal tent out of your oversized jacket and go off the grid. Hide from society. No one can hurt you in the denim. 
Libra: Wear a valor shirt, but turn it inside out so the valor part is touching your skin. Have a sexy secret all day. 
Scorpio: Do not get dressed today. Wrap yourself in bed sheets and slide across the ground like a snail to your local coffee house. 
Sagittarius: Cuff your jeans, and in order to keep them up cover the cuffs in those pins people cover their backpacks in. Jingly, fashionable ankles.  
Capricorn: Borrow your best friend’s clothes. Also borrow their accessories, their books, their career, their loved ones. Be in their bedroom already when they try to go to bed, scream when you see them and threaten to call the police. Live your best life. 
Aquarius: White shirt, white pants. Pour paint on the floor. Stop, drop, roll. Fashion. 
Pisces: Do not let a Capricorn borrow your shirt. Lock your bedroom door from now on.

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